It's the Common Reactor

I'm a very unmotivated person. I don't know why. It makes me angry that I can't sum up the will to do the things I want to do. I come from a very musical family, and I know I have the talent to play piano like a pro, but I'm just not...bothered? Is it because I don't want to have the expectations and responsibility of being this awesome pianist like my parents want me to be? Honestly, I can't be bothered practising more than once a week. To me, that isn't determination. And neither is it creating much of a musical future for me. I think about this a lot. And I think about my future a lot. And I go through things I want to do, and I realise..i just can't find anything I'm good at and enjoy at the same time. I know I want to do SOMETHING, no way am I living off welfare and sitting my butt on the side of the road looking helpless and pathetic like SOME people I won't mention. So for now..I'm just going to float through everything and do whatever seems to pop up for me. If anything does.


~~ Let's break the window panes
and seperate the walls from all the nails
and maybe if we're loud we'll stay alive
while everybody wants to join the fight
but even if we barricade the door
and seal it with the blood found on the floor
we're always gonna cross the finish line
while everybody wants to run and hide
but now it's too late.~~

Byeo =)

I FEEL LIKE MAKING A "PEOPLE I HATE" LIST (ooh goodie =] )

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hjbgkf

I finished my journal so I may as well write something up on here.
I've decided to stop using msn..atleast for a bit.
I'm going on a ten day holiday to Alice Springs, though I don't see it as much of a holiday, since I won't be able to see my Bitchtits, Brennidaymn and Alice.
The three people I actually give a shit about on this planet.
I've also noticed that I really really dislike my couch potato father. "YOU NEED THIS HOLIDAY, ALL YOU EVER DO IS SIT ON MSN, YOU'RE ANTI SOCIAL BLAH BLAH BLAH"
um...daddykins...you go to work everyday..after work, you plonk your butt on the couch, put your laptop on your knees, and your eyes DO NOT leave the screen unless you have to take a shit. The only time you see other people is when the whole family is invited to a party, which is a rare occasion.
I ON THE OTHER HAND spend some time on msn, but I also do other productive things, like my homework, piano on mondays, dancing on thursdays, singing on fridays and polish school on saturdays. AND DON'T TELL ME I'M ANTI-SOCIAL, BITCH. I've been out and about with jasmine and brendan almost every week, and even though I may not like many people, I'm still capable of holding up a conversation sobre.
I don't even understand why they want me to go on this holiday. Firstly, it's to the MIDDLE OF NOWHERE, where there will be no people to socialise with ANYWAY. And I'm kinda in the tenth grade, which means I have a shitload of homework and assignments to get through, with only four days to do it all, when I'd rather be seeing the friend I haven't seen for almost a year, and hang out with the two people I love most. So I'll probably end up doing all the assignments at Alice Springs, and they wanted me to witness the scenery? WELL TOO FUCKING BAD, because I'm going to be sitting in the hotel room, like the "anti-social" bitch hermit I am and do my school work. WHICH MEANS that you idiots payed my booking fee, for nothing =)

WARNING:
To any Alice Springs dweller who may read this, stay the hell away from me, because you may lose an arm, a leg, or your head.

I'll try and suck my parents' money dry and make them pay for my internet usage so I can talk to some people there... but I highly doubt it.

SEE YOU ALL IN 10 DAYS!

Adieu xx