Eh..

I'm not really bothered with these blogs anymore...
Maybe once every few months, I'll update.
But nah... May as well rant to people who listen xD

NEEDS MONEH

Babes, I am sooooooo lazy.
I NEED A JOB
AND CASH
=C

Writing a blog is rare

when one is not upset or worried.
For this post, I will be worried. I am worried about the safety of the two friends I love most in this world.
One is completely out of their mind.
The other is heading in that general direction.
Both are stubborn jackasses, that don't really listen to me that much.. but I think somewhere in that tough outer layer of theirs, they're happy that I'm there for them. (I just used the three "there"'s in one sentence xD
Atleast that's what I like to think.
I can't explain the situation of one, except that their minds are not seeing the fuller picture. I thought they were smarter.
They're not.
They are really not as smart as they seem.
Yes, this person has been through shit.
But going to the extents they are going to...
You say the right way doesn't work for you.
The right way is not a simple daily walk, you need to WORK AT IT.
You're stubborn enough, get the fucking motivation from your friends, who DO work at it, and achieve results.
And please, get the brains to seek professional help.
Doctors are not evil.
It is all in your head.

The other friend... they speak about their problems more openly.
But I just don't know what to do to help them =='
Yes, I agree your life is fucking shit a lot of the time, and life just isn't fair. But honey, you need to stand on your two feet and figure out what you want.
Dwelling in "maybe" and "but what if" isn't going to help you.
You're just going to confuse yourself more, and get hurt. Again.

Just some thoughts

I'm guessing one will be quite angry if they happen to come across this blog, but this way they know what I'm feeling.


~ And my papa always said that you should never tell a lie, but if you do then take it back, son.

I'm melting...

;LKJGSKLDFKLZSJDGKLZSJDFG

Man, what the hell is wrong with the weather?!
One day it's boiling, the next it's piss raining.
Global warming?
The gods fucking around?

Currently, I can see the droplets of sweat on my nose.

Oh, according to today's forecast, we'll be having a thunder storm later today. IT'S 42 DEGREES, I WANT THE THUNDER STORM NOW >=(

Yeah I don't know what this blog is about.. but if you've read this far then congrats! You just wasted 20 seconds of your life ^__^

Over and outtt


()__()
( .. )
()__()
()() <<< rabbit fail

WHAT THE HELL

IS WRONG WITH MY BROTHER'S FRIENDS?!
Seriously. The only one I trust is Victor, because he doesn't look at me like he wants to lick whipped cream off of my entire body.
One of them....Jason... he seems to find the constant need to pop into my room every half hour or so.
Sometimes he has something to ask me
Sometimes he says something about what I'm doing: "wow, you're on the computer a lot"
Or sometimes, he will just stand there, in my room looking around at everything.
While my brother is in his room going "dude, where the fuck did you go?"

12 year old fan club, much?

Dude...

Just fuck you.
Seriously.

The other night...

Was really...really weird.
I don't know why I'm posting this on the net, but whatthefuckever :L
I woke up in the middle of the night, to a boy sleeping next to me.
My eyelids wouldn't open, but I knew he was there.
I felt my body pressed against his, I heard his slow breathing, I felt his skin.
And what's more? I was holding his penis.
That's the point that makes me think it was probably a dream, but it was way too fucking realistic for me to be sure.
I didn't realise I was holding it, because I was still confused as to why there was a guy in bed with me.
I was still trying to open my eyes, when I realised that my hand was clamped around something.
Um... well, basically it was long, thick and hard :L
and my hand was a bit sweaty, so the skin on his dick was like...sticky?
What's more is that I couldn't take my hand away 0____0
I wasn't jacking him off or anything, just holding it.
I WANTED to let go, but my hand wouldn't move.
I stayed in that position for a long time, just listening to him breathing.
Eventually, I fell asleep.
And I CANNOT TELL IF IT WAS A DREAM OR REALITY. Like, of course you'd think it would be a dream, but it was just...too realistic. I still remember how the penis felt in my hand, I remember how fast he was breathing.
He seemed... young, I donno. I just couldn't open my eyes.
Jasmine suggests that it was Nathan's essence or something.
Brendan suggests it was my dad, or brother, or a really horny ghost.
I'm gonna hope it's the ghost o___o










Is it bad that I want him to come back? :L






~

EPIPHANY ALERT

I seem to really hate people these days.
I can see why Jasmine is in such a bad mood at school, it's a really shit environment.
People do not have respect.
I wish I had the courage to tell people that piss me off, to shove a pole up their ass.
But no, I'll just sit there and ignore it. Fuck you primary school. Teaching us to ignore bad shit that happens to us.
That's not how life rolls.
At least I'm realising that now. I think I'm getting better, though. Probably because of hanging around Jas and Bren so much, who are the two most stubborn people I know, and are pretty good at speaking their mind :L
Fuck being a push-over. Fuck not having a voice in this stupid life. I'm not going to be dominated by people anymore.
This doesn't mean I'm going to talk to people... screw that, I'm fine with being anti-social.
It means I'm not going to take their fucking crap.
People seem to target me because I'm weaker/gullible/quiet. They feel they are superior.
Well they can just wait until the day I snap. The day when they won't be able to stand properly because I've kicked the fucking shit out of them.

Can't wait :)

do not fold

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.
I am so scared for him right now.
I wish he knew how much he actually means to me... he's saying things I could only imagine in nightmares, and it's scaring the fucking shit out of me. I wish he didn't have to feel all this pain.
Make it stop.
Make it stop for him.
Please.

Why can't itunes go any louder?

If they scream one more time, I'm going to kill them.
Don't
Fuck
With
Me
Today.

Tired.

Punched a guy in the dick. On purpose.
Snapped at girls in my grade. They deserved it.
At least I've stopped being a slut.
Lovin' me some Asians gurrrrl.
Friends have love interests. I'm kinda really jelous.
Friends moving away and coming back.
Hello lunch times spent reading.
Seen people I haven't seen in a while.
Been called the most sensible 16 year old someone has ever met.
LOL.
I find myself really fucking stupid sometimes. Not thinking things through, and how certain things will effect me =_= But then again, I find some of my friends pretty stupid for the same reasons =)
People are trying new things. But hey, so am I.
I can see my heart beating through my shirt if I don't wear a bra.
I want to see the the freaking psychic. Apparently she is quite accurate.
Close friend has crush on me. Linda won't shut the fuck up about it.
I'm not going to Poland anymore.
I'm going to the Kate Miller-Heidke concert, possibly the Lady Gaga concert, and hopefully the Patrick Wolf concert.
Yay.
Fights about Ktwat continue. He likes to physically hurt me now. I'm just waiting for him to do something bad so that this fucking skinny ass pianist is out of my life and locked away forever.
Liking to draw now. Friend asked me to draw his penis. I think he forgot about it lol xD
Caleb's 18th yesterday. Nursing my first hangover. Yay.
Going hunting for Bigfoot with Jas and Brendan. No idea why.
Jessie is 10 next week.
Been having lots of dreams involving rape.
Fuck.
Going to go vomit on my piano now.

=)
There was a girl who talked to geese.....